How Do I Write You a Letter When We Are One?

And How Do You Write Back?

MOIIN
2 min readMay 8, 2022

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Photo by Engin Akyurt

I’ve been looking for you for so long. I’ve been wanting to talk to you. You were so hard to find. I’ve been looking everywhere. After so many years, it turned out you were closer than ever. You were closer to me than I am to me.

How do I write you a letter when we are one? When I’m still you and you are still me? How do I talk to you? How do you put a desire in me to speak to you and make it impossible by making us one and the same? It would look like cruelty if it wasn’t love. How do you get me to travel to you and all the while you were exactly where I am?

You were so close to me the whole time. So close that I couldn’t believe you were right in front of me. Not even in front of me. Closer even. In front of me, I could’ve seen you, but inside of me, you made it impossible to adore you with my eyes. I can only feel you are there.

I want to write you letters but you made that impossible. My reaching you is in vain. It makes no sense. How do you reach for something you already are? How does the hand reach for itself?

I still write you letters. I still talk to you. I still ask how I can finally see you. You never replied in words. I never heard your voice. I never got to see you.

Still, you left a trace of you. Something to remind me of you. Me. I know it’s me. You are me. I say this humbly because I still would love to talk to you. I would still love to look at you. Hold you.

I guess your letter to me, is me looking for you.

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MOIIN

I have some stories in me that I need to tell. Mostly fiction & poetry.